Wedding season has officially begun (at least on my calendar), and it has caused me to reflect on the choices people make in choosing a partner for marriage. Whether we gravitate to bookish charm, tall dark and handsome, or laid back and silly, we all have certain characteristics we find more attractive. What we are attracted to is often deeply rooted in our early experiences, and in our brain chemistry. What I find charming might not do it for someone else, which is great, because competition for a stable mate can be rough as it is.
With some of these thoughts in mind, I indulged in some Real Housewives drama, and couldn’t help but think of this when one husband was targeted for being “too into the women’s drama.” He was being called some pretty derogatory names, and his manliness was called into question. I couldn’t help but wonder what his wife felt in hearing that, and how she regarded his “manliness.” I certainly didn’t feel his actions were respectful to the women he was interacting with, and that got me thinking about what being a man means to me.
What makes a good man:
He is respectful: A real man knows how to convey his opinion in a way that leaves room for discussion, and does not belittle
the person he is interacting with (man or woman).
He has good character: He doesn’t follow popular logic or opinion, and knows that often the right choice is the hardest.
He shares: In a relationship, a man takes ownership of his feelings and is responsible for them; he does not blame.
He seeks support: Life can be hard. A man knows this and is not afraid to reach out when he needs another hand.
This list is by no means comprehensive, but there were certain things I left out, that to me do not convey manliness. A real man does not have to be physically strong, only mentally. A real man does not have to get wasted, but he does know how to relax. A real man does not have to have children, but he takes care of them when he does.
Feel free to comment with what manliness means to you.
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